Do You Wear Masks to Please Others?

 

Healthy boundaries are essential to a happy life, and one of the things that sabotage our healthy boundaries is wearing "Masks" to please others.

Just like healthy cell walls, which are permeable and smart as they allow the perfect amount of water and nutrients in, and flush what does not serve us out, so should our lives be.

If we wear masks to please others, we mess up this whole process. 

The cover of the book Your Cardinal Connections symbolizes a healthy, happy life when we establish healthy boundaries :-) The colorful crystal bracelet is set as a healthy boundary around the clear quartz stone, which represents you.

The joyful healthy boundary helps you create a wonderful, amazing life, because setting boundaries does not have to be painful - not for you, and not for the other person.

The clear quartz stone can also represent your inner child, because honestly, let's face it - we're all wounded in childhood and become emotionally defenseless as adults if we don't do something about our childhood wound. The difficulty to set boundaries ALWAYS comes from a childhood trauma that must be addressed so we can move on and be happy.

I keep telling people: whoever lives a life that is not fulfilling has boundary problems. I'm not saying that you have to be happy all the time, but to live a fulfilling life includes walking the path that you choose for yourself, and not a path that someone else has chosen for you. It's that discernment that I really hope gets through in this message.

To understand if you have a boundary problem, make a list of the things you love to do. Make another list of the things that you don't love to do.

Next, look at the list of things that you don't love to do, and make sure you know what's inevitable and part of adult life, and what you're doing just to please other people.

In the list of things you love, make sure you discern:

  • hobbies you love and if you create the time for them in your weekly schedule,
  • if there are things you love that that you don't do enough,
  • if things you love permeate your day or if they're just episodic. 

If the things you love only come once in a while and are not part of your routine, and if that makes you sort of sad or unhappy, start making better choices.

Start doing more things you love and stop doing things you don't love, especially in your emotional and social life.

For survival, we must do things that we don't love to do, but they make sense and they create structure in our lives. But I see so many people living lives that please other people, that put other people as priority, using their precious vital energy fulfill the expectations of other people and not honoring their Real Selves.

This behavior creates an artificial, internal aspect of the psyche called "the Mask". And we wear masks to please others. We wear masks to conform to specific social standards, cultural standards, or family standards that not aligned with our truth and that will ultimately make us unhappy.

And you can't love yourself if you don't know yourself.

So the first thing you need to do is Know Your Truth. What do you love to do? What do you not love to do?

Can you stop doing the things you don't love? Most of the time, yes!

especially if it's in the social world and the emotional realm.

When you observe the things you love, discern if it's really you that loves those activities and things, or if you think you love them because your mother loves them, or your father, or an older brother, or an aunt, or friends, or whoever. Discern your truth from other people's truths, and follow your own life path with authenticity.

You know, I was waiting a little bit to talk about the suicides that have recently happened - and there are so many reasons why people commit suicide. I'm not even going to get into that subject too deeply, but one of the things that are important to understand and that we can be sure is that happy, fulfilled people don't commit suicide. Even if they appear to be happy, it does not mean they ARE happy. 

Sometimes the image that we portray of our lives is not the reality of our souls and our true selves. So we have to stop believing images, and start connecting to our truth.

When we start doing this, we stop making assumptions about other people's happiness and we stop comparing our lives to other people's lives because there is no way you can compare yourself to any other human being. You can compare yourself to your potentials, and to who you are right now, and to who you once were, but YOU are the only standard of comparison.

The key to a joyful, happy life is living from the truth of your Real Self and not from Masks. Not from social standards, not from cultural pressure, not from the expectation of parents, or siblings, or bosses,or whoever.

And DO NOT fulfill yourself with other people's lives. This goes especially for for parents sometimes. Some parents micromanage their children's lives, and the children feel suffocated. And when I say "children", I also mean people older than 27, because I don't see people who are younger than that age in my space, Ranova Healing Center. My work is mostly done with adults, and for someone to be to called an adult, there needs to be a certain biological age and emotional age, because adults take responsibility for their lives and their "Selves".

So there's no way you can allow your inner child to be in charge of your life after age 27 in my opinion.  And if you have a grown child, let them be, and leave them alone in choosing their life paths. And if you are an adult human being, stop pleasing your parents if their truth and their expectations is not the reality of your heart.

So to wrap it up - happy people have a stronger immune system, a more fulfilling life, and deal better with problems. I'm not saying that problems will not exist anymore, but they will come with faster solutions if you're tuned into your Real Self.

What do YOU think?

Ask questions and comment below, let's share our experiences, knowledge and opinions in the comments area below this video. 

Stay tuned for the next blog posts and videos, and all the wonderful goodness we have about consciousness, the soul, living from the heart, and creating love, life and joy in our paths!

Thanks so much for being here! See you in the comments area!

 

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