Blaming Others is the Easiest Way to Remain a ChildSep 07, 2019
Did you ever stop to think about how blaming other people for our misfortunes is the easiest subconscious way to remain in child mode?
On the other hand, taking full responsibility for who you are and not playing the blame game is one of the most powerful mental attitudes we can decide to take - and it turns most people into adults.
I know we don't do this on purpose, but you'd be surprised to see how many people playing the blame game walk into Ranova, complaining about life until they choose to try another perspective.
And when they do, their whole life changes.
Most of us do not do this consciously, of course. But even when we complain about other people, we're still doing it :-(
There is a way to start acting differently. It starts with paying attention to our thoughts, feelings and words that come out of our mouths.
Paying attention is a really good start.
You can be your own guide or coach, and whenever you catch yourself blaming other people for your misery, or blaming others for events that happened in your life, say to yourself:
I have to stop this because it keeps me in child mode.
And I know it's not easy to admit it, but the person who brought the aggressor or whoever has hurt you in the past, was you.
Consciously or unconsciously.
The moment we understand that blaming others is the fastest, easiest, most automatic excuse to remain a child on the emotional level, we start to change because we realize that
when we don't take responsibility for our lives, we undermine the present moment.
It's crazy to see the amount of wasted energy that goes to complaining and blaming others.
Since it is the subconscious mind that mostly rules our lives, this ends up affecting people financially, professionally or in their family life. In the long run it erodes our relationships. We may have a nasty relationship with where we live, because we may be wasting our energy with our complaints and the blame game instead of using it to create a good living space, and there's no energy left to create a good life for ourselves. I've seen this frequently with the people that come to Ranova for soul healing and consciousness expansion.
On the results level, there are many possibilities, but I want to call your attention to the subconscious theater at play here.
The blame game keeps us in child mode. It's an immature way to face life that undermines the possibilities of abundance and happiness of our adult selves.
By now you may be asking,
"ok, that makes sense, but something terrible happened to me in childhood, and I couldn't defend myself because I was little and have been harmed by an adult."
I understand. And I sympathize. This is actually one of the very reasons why we've been holding Cardinal Method Family Constellations at Ranova every month for over four years now. I have deep compassion for childhood trauma, and we do want you to look at the wounds from your past and what happened in your childhood to see the root causes.
But we can't dwell there. We have to move on. Make peace with it, consent to it, understand we can't change it, take it as a lesson that has made us stronger, and encourage ourselves to move forward.
If we keep ourselves going in the black hole / downward spiral of whatever trauma happened in our childhood, it means
we're living in the past and not enjoying life as we could or should.
We're not honoring the gift of life in the present moment, which is the only reality there is because
the past doesn't exist anymore, and the future doesn't exist yet.
Parallel realities that are not your present moment anymore.
So I believe if you're here reading this blog post, you want to start enjoying the best of life right now.
As adults, we have the responsibility to own our pain and do something useful with it. Not in a sense of creating another autopilot that doesn't deal with emotional problems, shoving it under the carpet and not facing it.
What I mean is
whenever we feel something's off, we can do something to work on it.
We can journal, seek guidance, or ask ourselves to become more responsible for whatever it is that's bothering us, making the choice to go on a different path instead of dwelling in the pain.
Our relationships create the quality of our lives,
and since trauma and pain stem from a specific painful or difficult relationship, it has the sole purpose to teach us something and make us wiser and stronger.
We need that lesson, otherwise we would not have attracted the experience into our energy field, right?
We are not victims of anything that has happened to us. We've created the painful experiences with our unconscious minds, and sometimes even from our Higher Self perspective so that we can grow as adult human beings on a soul level.
Sometimes the Higher Self guides us into situations that will challenge us so we can become stronger. However, painful unnecessary experiences are usually caused by the unconscious mind and by previous painful experiences that are just re-enacting themselves as a vicious loop on the unconscious level.
This is the very reason why we use a lot of Ho’Oponopono in the Cardinal Method. If you don't know what Ho'Oponopono is, it's a four-phrase prayer that really dissolves negative energy and painful experiences from the past. Not just bad stuff that's happening now, but also in past generations, and even past lives. Anything in the past that was distorted or painful can be dissolved with Ho'Oponopono so it doesn't recreate itself in the present moment.
The prayer consists of four phrases, which are
I love you.
Please forgive me.
When you do the Ho'Oponopono prayer, you are not saying it to any particular person. You are saying it to your Higher Self, to Source, to God, to the Universe - apologizing for putting yourself in that situation - for consciously or unconsciously attracting the painful experience in the first place.
It is a vertical relationship between you and your Higher Light - and no one else.
It's a direct vertical connection to release the pain.
The more we practice this, the more we come to the awareness that other people are just actors in the play of our lives that play a role for us to learn and grow.
So we can learn our lessons and move on.
To wrap it up and take effective action, there are two things I suggest to you do today if you're blaming others for your misfortunes.
#1. Whenever you're feeling weird, or playing the blame game, or falling into the temptation of becoming a victim, do the Ho'oponopono prayer
#2. Know that whoever hurt you is not responsible for your pain today. Be aware that if you're reacting that pain in your mind and keeping it alive today, it's your own doing.
You're unconsciously living from resentment or from another energy that has wounded you, and you can do something about it.
This is not to disregard the pain - it's
choosing to heal it. And it's the mature love for self that turns emotional children into adults.
I hope this has helped you in some level or way, and if you have any questions, please let us know in the Comments Area below this blog post.
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