Going Through Emotional Pain is Better than Avoiding itMar 16, 2019
Going through our emotional pain may be harder than avoiding it, but not only is it worth it because it’s healthier in the long run, it's also not as bad as our minds tend to think.
Pain is part of life. And when we're working with the Cardinal Method of Life Connection, it means we're embracing our pain and our joy equally. They are both life-connection experiences. And pain is designed to end itself anyway.
I often see people having difficulty in individual and group sessions when they think it's easier to avoid pain than to go through it.
Many people think going through emotional pain will be too much to handle.
Since I believe nothing is just physical and everything is always energetic and emotional before it manifests in the physical world, if we avoid emotional pain, it will still be there and may become something else if we don’t face it eventually.
On the opposite end of the spectrum we have the option to embrace and live your emotional pain. The choice to face the fear and not be led by it, to go through it, is always available. It's not easy, but it's not as bad as our minds tend to lull us into believing.
Gilles Marin, Founder and Director of the Chi Nei Tsang Institute in Berkeley, California, says that it's easier to live through physical pain than to face emotional pain, and that's why people get sick in his perspective of Chinese Medicine and other holistic approaches to physical health.
Many people prefer to be physically ill than to face their emotional wounds.
Based on my experience, I believe this is true. If we don't go through our emotional pain, it festers and snowballs and the unconscious mind, and it will eventually affect our physical health. It can settle in an organ, endocrine, body part. It could become chronic pain or diseases like fibromyalgia.
There's always an emotional reason for a physical problem. I'm not saying that if you avoid your emotional pain, you'll get sick. I'm saying that we have a more fulfilling life when we face the truth of our emotions. And a lot of people try to bypass their emotional pain instead of going through it. Many go "sideways" and try to "spiritualize" it, or "intellectualize" it.
I do believe we need to use our brain power to understand our emotions with concepts. And yes, I believe we should embrace our spirituality and we grow as human beings, and that part of personal growth is spiritual connection, but these are different paths to fulfillment.
There’s no way you can substitute going through your emotional pain with intellectual concepts or with spiritual practice by themselves and avoid contact with your emotions.
Meditation is wonderful. Reading books is wonderful. But conceptualizing pain and spiritualizing pain can be avoidance mechanisms.
"Shelf-help” is not going to solve your emotional problem.
And though meditation gives us amazing insight, if you have a catharsis in your meditation, burst into tears, feel like you need to call someone that you have resentment with, then you’re facing your emotional pain 😊
And that, my friend, believe it or not, is enough. It’s the release you need for emotional pain to be purged and moved out of your body.
Emotional Connection Practice
To become more familiar with your emotional pain, I invite you to connect with yourself.
Make a list of all your uncomfortable emotions, or those emotions that do not “feel right”. Go to the events of your life that are still unfinished business. See if you have emotional pain with a friend, or an ex-lover, husband, wife. Your parents, siblings, family members. Just make a list of people who you don't have peace with, and see if those relationships are still painful for you.
If they are, go through the pain. Either by yourself, just writing it down, or even journaling. Writing is a great tool to release your emotional pain. Maybe you can get in touch with the person, call him or her and see how it goes.
If you do this, you will know that understanding the pain afterwards with intellectual work and inspiring books, or spiritualizing and understanding it from a spiritual perspective will make much more sense.
You will feel more complete in your personal development path.
If this was powerful for you, comment your experience and ask away! When we share our thoughts and feelings in a group, we can all grow together as we engage in a discussion that helps us all heal.
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With Love, and have an awesome week,