Did you ever wonder about how you can make peace with your fear?
What are we afraid of, anyway?
Talking about fear in general can go on for hours, and it has to do with specific energies in our bodies and minds. If you want to dig deeper into this topic, go here.
What I want to focus on today is are three specific types of fear that are universals of the human experience.
The fear of death.
The fear of our own unconscious mind.
And the fear of intimate love with a significant other.
I notice a lot of people have a predominant fear - one or two of the three.
People who are afraid of death tend to be a little hypochondriac, they are very focused on their health, and often identified with the disease when they get sick or have a chronic condition.
Because the fear of death is so paralyzing, it has to do with attachment to the physical world and a materialistic mindset. It's about believing our physical world is all there is.
Even in a very small percentage of people who are spiritual, who know and believe there's something beyond physicality, the "manifestation world", the "3D reality" we live in, sometimes makes us struggle with the idea of physical death.
So, there is this dualistic mind challenge, a consciousness of separation and identification with the body and disease (when disease is present) that steals our peace.
Not that I define identification with the body is a bad thing - which it isn't. As incarnate humans, the more well-being we bring to our bodies, the more identified we are with the physical body as an expression of our souls and spirits, the better, because when we see the body that way, we are actually creating synthesis in our minds, right?
So, when we get to that point in understanding, we feel peace with our bodies, with our health, and eventually, with physical death.
On another perspective, when it comes to the fear of your own unconscious mind, people are skeptical about consciousness work and rarely validate it.
They also tend to have a materialistic mind and resist personal growth in the broad sense of the expression. Some may start to surrender and get curious about subtle realities, but often when they start a process of self-connection, they vanish and avoid it for a long time. It tends to be an inconsistent journey.
When we talk about the third type of general existential fear, which is the fear of intimacy with a significant other, or difficulty in intimacy with a significant other, these people tend to be more consistent with their personal growth work. They seem to really want relationships to work, so they work on themselves so that they can have a fulfilling relationship.
Elizabeth Gilbert, for instance, talks about this type of fear beautifully in the book Eat Pray Love.
The Achilles heel in this type of action to deal with the fear of love and intimacy with a significant other is that often, these people prioritize others before they prioritize themselves, because they desperately want to make the relationship work even at the cost of their authentic feelings, needs, dreams and desires.
And the question now is - when you prioritize the other person in your relationship and you do your inner work, is that really fear of intimacy?
Or is it exactly because you need to work on relationships that you are in that type of resistance?
Ideally how do you make peace with your fears, or with your fear, period.
That is enough reason to do your inner work. But if you're suffering in a relationship with a significant other, there is some internal resistance to intimacy that may be stemming form this unconscious universal fear.
Start observing your relationship patterns and approaching it as something that, first of all, is part of the human experience.
Second of all, know that
As Einstein and later Deepak Chopra said,
So if your problem is fear - whatever type of fear it is - meditate with the focus of facing it. And know that
We've talked about the Higher Self before.
When you are being, you are not afraid of death.
You do not struggle with a significant other because you are peacefully communicating your integrity, your authenticity, and who you are.
And when you do this, there is no struggle in a relationship. It works naturally because you are being authentic, and being your real self with the willingness to have a healthy connection.
And regarding the fear of your own unconscious mind, when your Higher Self is the protagonist of your life, you don't have to be afraid of inner child fantasies or magic thinking, or of your destructive lower self, or of your ego control, because
It's a huge relief to know that fear does not have to be the predominant energy in your life, right? It does not have to be in driver's seat.
Thank you so much for being here.
I adore having you in our journey, and I will see you soon.